Kung Fu Panda

Ok, originally i didn't want to review this movie, but due to my lack of a social life as of late (like, the last 25 years or so), i've not seen anything else recently and i really need something to put up for a review. Kung Fu Panda, for those of you who don't know it, is a children's animated movie about a panda (Po) who learns kung fu. Deep, no?

Now, usually here i'd follow up with some snide comments or glib remarks (ed: whiny reader "but you already made one!"), but not this time. Why? Because i actually didn't mind the damned movie! I know, since my WallE review, people say i only like animated movies. But that's not true! I hated HATED Starwars: Clonewars. That movie haunts me to this day, weighting me down like an albatross about my neck! But i digress.

Back to the movie: Kung Fu panda is a kids movie, plain and simple. Its themes are aimed at children, teaching them acceptance of those who are different, etc and the light hearted humour is aimed primarily at children. But like any good piece of children's fiction, it has elements aimed at adults, too. However, the truly best part about this movie is its story. While it has an "obvious" outcome, this movie shows that even a clichéd plot can be successful if done correctly. After all, a story's about the journey, not the destination; this is something FAR too many movies these days forget.

Now, let's talk about the voice talent: Po, the main character is done by "comedian" jack black. Now, i'm no fan of jack black; i find his fat-ass to be more pathetic than comedic. But when he's the voice of a fat, pathetic, anthropomorphic panda, somehow this works. He seemed somewhat reigned in by the story and was even able to deliver the "serious" lines with the tinge of honesty they required: a feat i'm sure even he was surprised by (Oh my god, jack black can act? Well, no, but he can fake it pretty good). As far as voice acting goes, i think jack black did quite a decent job.

But what about the other characters of the movie? Surely with such talent lined up as Angelina Jolie (Tigress), Jackie Chan (Monkey), Lucy Liu (Viper), David Cross (Crane) and Seth Rogen (Mantis) it must've been a STELLAR performance. However, given that the "furious five" (characters voiced by the above) play almost a side-line role, i can't help but think the excessive voice talents were needless. It's a cartoon, for god's sake! You could've gotten Dan Castellaneta to do half the voices and saved a ton on the voice acting! In fact, when it comes to "the five", i think they get a total of half a dozen lines each! Man, i wanna know what they bid for those jobs!

I mean, the only reason to get big name stars for ANYTHING is not because they're good actors (most of them aren't, anyway), but because idiot adult movie goers are fanboys/girls. But this is a kids movie, so probably most kids don't know (or care) who the fuck Lucy Liu or Jackie Chan are. Hell, as far as that goes, i'm sure most adult MEN don't care about the voice acting of Angelina Jolie or Lucy Liu (sad but true, ladies). Why do you think that stupid Tomb Raider movie is so popular? Because of Angelina's "quality acting"? Don't make me laugh!

Further, you don't even get to see Jolie or Liu half naked or in skin tight clothing (ed: in a kids movie? It could happen... and does in Japan i'm sure). So really, there's no need for them to be in the film at all, is there? Smooth move, producers!

Note: to those women out there who think the above is a "sexist comment" let me ask you how many of you saw Titanic (many times, as the case may be) just becaues Leonardo Dicaprio was the star and he gets his shirt wet? And no, he's not a great actor nor is Titanic that great a movie, so you can't use those excuses.

...

That's what i thought!

Anyway, as far as Kung Fu Panda goes as a whole, it was pretty good. I was entertained by its light hearted story, clichés and all. If nothing else, i was happy to see something that wasn't a remake, sequel or parody. I give it a 3.5 out of 5 (not quite as good as WallE, but good none the less).