The Final

Bullying is an epidemic problem in schools. It's encouraged by peers, ignored by teachers and generally stupidly handled by society as a whole ("Why doesn't 5'2", 85lbs Donny throw a punch back at 6'3" 230lb Billy? That'll teach him to pick on him!"). Anyone who's been through high school knows this shit. But what happens when the bullied get pushed too far?

Dane (Marc Donato) and his friends ("the five"), after having been tortured and bullied for years by their peers, decide they've had enough and to pay back the worst of the worst with one final night of horror and prolonged torture at their hands. They invite their bullies to a fake party, drug them, tie them up and prepare for the night of violence.

The movie is billed as some kind of revenge flick, but the stilted line delivery, forgettable acting and needlessly protracted torture scenes make it feel like the true target of director Joey Stewart's revenge is the unwitting audience. What did we ever do to deserve this movie, Joey?

While i'm certainly not a fan of horror movies depicting graphic violence for the sake of graphic violence, i'm also not one to hate one simply for this reason, either. What really confuses me about this movie is how ridiculously tame the torture scenes come off as. Even after being shanked with a knife to the spine, Justin Arnold's Bradley character does little more than make a funny face. There's no blood and he doesn't even scream!

What the fuck kind of revenge flick is this? I don't even think i recall a harsh word being thrown.

Even when Dane and his friends tie up their tormentors, they do it in the too-dumb-to-live "hands tied in front with the loosest of chains, ropes and over-sized handcuffs" all too commonly used by fictional evil doers on damsels in distress these days. You know, the kind of restraints a determined quadriplegic could escape from?

It's really weird because there's use of a ball gag in the movie, but the actress who wears it seems to only be doing so out of grudging obligation. So, realistic restraints are considered too much, but torture, cold blooded murder and skimpy outfits = a-ok? Remember, this movie's rated R, as in, "ARRR! You 17+ years old?".

The worst thing about this whole movie (besides everything else already mentioned) is how poorly put together it is. Every plot element seems like it's only there as a transparent framing device to show case the torture of the bullies. But since the bullies aren't really tortured in any kind of gory or gruesome way, the build up feels painfully look and the payoff non-existent. As a result, the movie itself feels painfully long with absolutely no payoff. You don't care about the forgettable characters and you probably won't remember them scene to scene.

There's also this kind of weird set up the movie has that seems to suggest the writer thought it was poignant or something, what with the bullies being made ugly on the outside, too. But since you don't really care about the characters (any of them) the point is lost almost entirely. Let me be blunt: i don't care if bully number 6 learns a lesson in what it means to cause pain, because i don't care about bully number 6.

Bottom line is, if you're going to make a revenge flick, make it gory and over the top. If you're not, then get better fucking actors, writers and direction. I'm sure even a B-movie can afford a few dozen litres of fake blood to dump all over the scene. Or better yet, just shoot real bullies of the world (i kid, i kid!) But whatever you do, do not do this.