Hurt Locker

The so-called best picture of 2009.  But is it really?  I can say with an unequivocal, resounding... NO!

This is one of those films that boggles the mind.  Not because it has a deep story or depth of character or because it raises questions and challenges for the viewer, but simply because it won an Oscar in spite of what it really is.

The movie's as remarkably straight forward as a movie can get.  The opening sentence of the film sums up not just the main points of, but the entirety of the points of Hurt Locker: "war is a drug" - and it affects everyone differently.  While war is certainly hell, there are those who willingly and repeatedly put themselves in harms way, not (just) for the purpose of defence or patriotism or what have you, but because of the rush.

Hurt Locker is the very definition of a "PC movie".  The themes are so unbelievably tepid that no one dare criticise them for fear of drawing ire.  It's the type of war movie reviewers seem to be afraid to give a negative score to (you know the type!).  They look at the troops as people and the conflict as more than challenging and believe that is enough to win Oscars and praise (i guess they're right...).  But in doing this, story tellers fail to challenge the viewer to anything beyond the obvious.  There is nothing here beyond what you should already know and it's certainly not dressed up in anything more aesthetically pleasing than the cheap veneer of its bland cinematography.

Well, let me be the reviewer to say this movie is all kinds of boring.  The plot is non-existent, the action uninteresting, the special effects bland, the characters flat and uninteresting and the themes obvious and unnecessary.  How some people found something deep in this puddle of nothing, i'll never know.  Perhaps if you live in your own delusions and you've never thought about things before; perhaps if you're a knee-jerk reactionary who simply buys mantras and believes "Support our troops" actually means what it says; perhaps if your view of the world around is defined strictly by stereotypes and simplistic models of human beings as organic robots with a static set of wants and needs identical throughout.  Perhaps then you would find something in this movie's pseudo-depths.  But not me.

Overall this is definitely not best picture material and anyone who says otherwise is wrong - that includes every dipshit in the academy who voted for it.  I don't think Avatar deserved best picture, but i certainly can't see how this or that beat out Precious.  A good movie should a) entertain and b) challenge the viewer on some level; a decent movie should at least entertain.  Hurt Locker is an abject failure on both accounts.  No matter what anyone says, this did not, NOT deserve best picture.

Edit (April 16, 2010): When i reviewed this movie it was based on how boring i found the plot and characters to be coupled with (what i thought was) an oh-so-subtle subtext of propaganda for the US military.  I thought this was a picture made to showcase how difficult the US troops have it over in Iraq and why everyone (left and right) should just shut up and tow the line, even if they disagree with the war.  And, to a degree, i still maintain this.  I think it was intended to be a subtle propaganda pic (and it's certainly boring).

But you know what's funny?  You know who else hates this film for the same reasons i outlined above and then some?  US military men and women.  At least according to the user reviews i've seen online at places like metacritic.

Not only is The Hurt Locker boring, it's completely unrealistic - offensively so!  I could've guessed at it's unrealistic portrayal, but it's so much more gratifying to know that that's what the pros are saying, too (which is why i've included this edit update here).

It seems the only thing The Hurt Locker is capable of demonstrating is how far Hollywood has fallen and how painfully out of touch they've become with their perception of what constitutes realism and entertainment.

I also sort of realized i didn't put a "grade" on this one before.  But that's pretty easily rectified now: 0 detonated bombs out of a thousand: F minus minus.  Well, at least it's better than 88 Minutes (but not by enough).