iRobot

Staring Will Smith (as Will Smith), the farmer from "Babe" and GLaDOS from "Portal", iRobot is a movie so loaded down with product placements you can't help but think the "iRobot", "iMac" connection is just a little too convenient (yes, i know it's actually "I, Robot"). Yup, from Will Smith's futuristic Audi right down to his "vintage, year 2004" Converse All Star (actual movie quote), iRobot plays like a gigantic commercial so horrible and nauseating you yearn for the 5 minute commercial breaks on television. In fact, when i watched it again on television recently (not all the way through), i couldn't help but think the commercials were the best part of the movie.

Now, i can hear what you're thinking, "if you hate the movie so much, why did you watch it again? On television no less." Well, i guess the reason is because it's got decent special effects (that and i needed to get another review up). The CGI makes it pretty to look at (if nothing else) and the action sequences are ok, if not just a little predictable.

*Gasp*! Do i detect a hint of praise? Well, let me assure you, other than that, iRobot has nothing going for it. NOTHING! The tech babble is bad enough that if you try thinking about ANYTHING they say, you'll certainly go mad. Other than their oft-repeated, ne'er explained "three laws" robot operating system (whatever that means) nonsense, they talk about "positronic brains" and other sci-fi mumbo jumbo that has little meaning and no other purpose than to make it sound like what they do is "complicated science".

That aside, let's get down to the actual "story" of the movie (if we can call it that). The main plot is the played out "robots go evil" i'm sure everyone is sick of (except hollywood) from Matrix, Terminator, Battlestar Galactica and any number of other sci-fi movies and television shows we've all had enough of. We get it! Society's afraid of rampant progress! Maybe that's not entirely an irrational fear, but it certainly shouldn't be your predominant one. Last i checked, the likes of our politicians and business leaders pose bigger threats than our computers and robots.

Anyways, that's not the part of the story that bothered me the most. The biggest problem came with the side-going love-story involving Will Smith and the female lead, a "genius" robotics specialist who can't seem to figure out how to run a CD player, drive a car or understand the basic mechanics behind an internal combustion engine (and they say our educational standards aren't sliding!):

"Gas explodes!" she yells with caution, as Will Smith gives her a ride on his archaic, yet still completely functional motorbike. Thanks, einstein. What, did the future do away with basic physics textbooks along with all those ancient technologies (but not ancient year 2004 shoes, apparently)?

Btw, where'd Will Smith get the gas for his bike if nobody uses internal combustion engines anymore? Did he refine the oil himself using his non-robotic apparatuses (considering how opposed to technology he seems to be)?

Anyways, i'm so sick of watching movies where the so-called scientists are dumber than the sparingly-educated cops on the force. Maybe society likes to think that cops are ingenius, clever people (and i'm sure some of them are; maybe even more so than some scientists) but i HIGHLY doubt the scientists of the world are so stupid as to be easily fooled by basic devices and simple physics. Well, except for maybe the Rand Corporation scientists... but, calling those people scientists is like calling a hotdog eating champion an "athlete".