I don't like writing positive reviews simply because i don't find them very entertaining. 'Tis far more entertaining to read caustic wit than the idiotic ramblings of the fanboys who are incapable of seeing fault with whatever deeply flawed object of adoration they hold closest to their heart.
However, since times are rough (it's a recession, doncha know), i've limited my funds to entertainment that i'm fairly certain i'll enjoy already. Because i'm such a discerning asshole, this also means that i pretty much only watch/play movies/games that are top notch. Which brings me to the uncomfortable truth that i haven't seen or played anything wretched lately, i'm going to be doing a triple positive review. That way i don't have to spend all that much time talking about positive points of anything.
But even though this is a set of positive reviews, i'll still find the flaws to pick at, even if they are minor details.
So without further ado, let's get down to the review:
Toy Story 3
I'd like to say "people don't like sequels", but i'd be lying. After all, hollywood execs are "people", too (in the loosest sense of the word) and they absolutely LOVE sequels. It's a guaranteed built in audience and movies are more a business than a catharsis, so it's win-freakin'-win, even if the sequel is unwatchable shit.
But beyond the execs of hollywood, who really likes sequels? Not many. However, every once in a while a sequel comes along that is not only as good as the original, but sometimes even better. Shrek 2, for example (despite the number of people who disagree). But a more recent example is Toy Story 3.
While i have always been (and still am) of the mindset that Toy Story could've been the first and last movie in the now-trilogy and still been an excellent film, i must admit that the sequels have actually served to improve the franchise. Toy Story 3's plot, particularly, feels like the natural progression and conclusion of the films. The events of previous films are built on, not rehashed as so many other sequels tend to do. And true to form, Pixar has included their now omni-present touching moments in the climax of the film.
My biggest qualm with this movie is that before it starts you know how it's going to end. Indeed, you know the only way it could possibly end. Since Andy is all grown up now, it's highly unlikely he's going to lapse back into the mental state of a kid and continue playing with his toys, so one of two things must happen: Woody, Buzz and co end up "adopted" by another good hearted child or they end up being destroyed or abandoned or some other horrible fate. Because this is a Disney-Pixar movie, it doesn't take too much to figure out which.
But having a predictable ending does not a poor story make. If there was ever any doubt of this, watch Toy Story 3. This is one of those few movies where the consensus of critics throwing perfect 10s are actually entirely justified. The plot feels like a natural extention of the previous movies and there's just the right mix of comedy, drama and action for it to feel like a well balanced film. Give it a watch if you get a chance.
Next up...
Mass Effect 2
If there's anyone who likes sequels more than movie executives, it's video game company executives. While movies that reach a 4th sequel are rare (and almost always confined to children's movies), some video game franchises have installments well into the double digits: Final Fantasy, Castlevania, the Megaman series, all of Nintendo's games..., the list goes on.
But unlike with movies, a crappy video game sequel is pretty rare, as developers often use the time to improve gameplay and story elements, putting more money - and more importantly, effort - into the sequels than movie executives even care to. After all, a shitty game can sour gamers views on all your wares, while people like M Night Shyamalan (and more shockingly, Uwe Boll) are still making movies. (Seriously, wtf!?)
But enough preamble, how's Mass Effect 2? Well, just as expected, Bioware took their time to improve the gameplay and story. While the first Mass Effect was hardly "bad" (you can read my review of the first Mass Effect here), the sequel improves on it a good deal. Gone are the broken driving segments (and there was much rejoicing) and improved are the combat, story and even basic motions.
Now, you may be wondering what i mean by "basic motions have improved". What the hell does that even mean? Well, it's really only something you notice when directly comparing Mass Effect 2 to Mass Effect 1. When i revisted the first game after having completed the second, i was getting stuck on all kinds of ankle high terrain. It was so bad as to the point of frustration... but i didn't notice it the first time playing through the game. That's what i mean by "improved basic motions".
The other thing that's improved in gameplay is the whole renegade/paragon dynamic. While the first game largely had it as an aesthetic feature that only occassionally allowed for alternative conversation points, ME2 adds in quick time events and a lot more conversation options that depend on your renegade or paragon score. This was a vast improvement over the 4 or 5 conversations in the first Mass Effect that required renegade or paragon points to unlock different conversation options.
Yes, ME2 is certainly an improvement over an already excellent game, but like anything, it wasn't flawless. As everyone has already commented, the planet mining that's needed for all the best upgrades is nothing short of annoying grind work, but the worst, absolute worst aspect of this game has to be the money formula: there will never be a time, in the entire game, where you won't be starved for cash. And don't expect anyone to do anything more than shave a few bucks off max prices for you, either (and only if you intimidate or charm them). Sure, you saved the galaxy in the first game and, yes, you have a financial backer with bottomless pockets and, ok, your mission is so important that failure isn't an option... but there's no free rides here! You're still going to have to buy all your own weapon and armor upgrades, as well as fuel and probes (required to scan planets for resources).
That's right, i said you have to buy your own fuel. While you're supposedly working for a private military contractor, Cerberus, who is constantly telling you how much resources they've put at your disposal, you're still required to pay for your own damned gas. What the hell kind of 2-bit operation is Cerberus running? There are employers with goals less important than "save the galaxy" that pay for their employees fuel charges!
I guess Bioware was trying to make it more "realistic" with consumable fuel, but the only thing they've realistically done is discourage me from exploring the universe beyond the systems i can get to for free. Those credits are too damned important for my weapons upgrades to bother
All in all, though, Mass Effect 2 is an excellent game and worth the time if you like 3rd persion shooters. If possible, it's even more massive effective than the first!
And finally we have...
Bioshock
A three year old game that i've only now decided to pick up and play. Hell, it even has a sequel now.
Bioshock is a game that's mostly all about atmosphere. The gritty dystopian city of Rapture is clearly designed to make you jump in your seat and inch cautiously down corridors as you plod carefully through the story. The game even includes a number of specific triggers that, when hit, cause your screen to fade out briefly, only to return you to the same spot, now surrounded by viscious enemies.
Of course, the problem with this is, any replay is guaranteed not to be as enthralling as your first play through, which is a real pitty because, like Mass Effect (and other games of the time), there's a moral choice system. Naturally, i played through the game the first time like a goody-goody with designs on playing through a second time as a malevolent cock-sucker out for the blood of children. Of course, since the game doesn't change at all in replay (except, what i'm told, is a different ending), there's not much enjoyment to be milked out of having a bloody moral choice system to begin with. I can just as easily watch the "bad" ending on youtube and lose nothing for it.
The other thing that bothers me is that while Bioshock is certainly trying to deliver a clever story coupled with some topical political commentary, it completely gives up halfway through. Many gamers have praised the story's "twist", but it's really not that much of a twist, especially if you've played a video game in your life before. I won't spoil the twist (god forbid!), but suffice it to say, i called it from the start and was more than a little disappointed when the writers choose to abandon their social commentary in the name of such a weak story device.
Oh well, all in all, Bioshock is still an impressively visual game with an intriguing enough story to keep you entertained, if only for a single playthrough. Check it out.
So that's my countdown of the "things i liked this month" review. It's not as witty or comedic as a vitriolic review could be, but again, that's why i hate writing this kind of review. Oh well, perhaps it makes up for my month in absence.
No? Well, tough.
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